JOKES and HUMOR
A
34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of
suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6' 2" tall and
weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white
saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to create a
schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gasmask that had the
filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end
of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow tube approx. 12"
long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum
for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the
task of explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when
another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of
the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were
all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before
arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was not breathing.
Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she
rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks
around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who was
declared dead on arrival at the hospital - police made a closer inspection of
the couch, and noticed that the man had made a hole between the cushions.
Upon flipping the couch over,
they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had a habit of
putting his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two
electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for obvious reasons). According
to the story, after his orgasm the discharge shorted out one of the sanders,
electrocuting him.
A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles
and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself
As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin
nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver's attention had been
distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for
food as she drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the
Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.
