The lack of social affiliation often results in isolation. The person tends to lose a meaningful attachment with others. It however has long term effects, which might be the following: failure to find someone to love (especially romantic love), stress, and lack of connection and oppression. Most social psychologists often infers that love is dependent on the past socialisation processes of that specific individual, it is also dependent upon the presence of the one to love, which is psychologically referred to as “the object of arousal or stimuli.”
In love there is always a factor of attraction, it is based on external factors. It is also based on similarity of values and the performance of individuals in their social and emotional world. Individuals who fails to maintain their relationship with each other often result in separation, but some may remake and start again, however it is difficult for most to attain back their trust.
Lee (1984) cited in Brown (2006) believes that there are five stages to premarital breakup. They are as follows:
a. Dissatisfaction discovered: a partner discovers that he/she is no longer valuable in the relationship.
b. It is then exposed: the other party is alerted, either verbally or literally.
c. There is some negotiations about it
d. Attempts are made to resolve it
e. The relationship is terminated
When a relationship has symptoms that it is about to come to an end, stress and trauma often result.
Duck (1992) in Brown (2006) is of the view that there are different stages that people go through towards abandoning their relationship. He considered the following stages as the ones that people often undergoes towards terminating their problematic non beneficial relationships. They are:
a. Intra psychic phase: assessment of personal costs and rewards, the person does a self-exploration and discover that she/he does not benefit in the relationship, rather she/he helps the other party to achieve her/his emotional desires.
b. dyadic phase: confrontation and negotiation
c. social phase: involves and uses social networks, it is most familiar in today generations. When there is an argument in a relationship, a person changes his/her relationship status, and suddenly becomes single (in face book, twitter, etc) before the actual relationship comes to an end.
d. grave dressing phase: events are analyzed and people are made aware as a “getting over activity.”
The combination of two parties is usually a very difficult event since each and every person is unique and has his or her own personality. When it comes to relationship, a compromise is essential to this matter. We teach and influence each other on how to do things, act, behave and communicate. It is so difficult to shape a person especially the one who doesn't have a desire to change. Change is inevitable and is also good and can serve as a building block for relationships. However, not all relationship is able to survive transitional stages. One wise man once said "a clever person always changes his mind".
In a relationship not only one party is forced to compromise or change but it is the duty of all parties involved in such to be able effect some changes in their lives. This is normally for their benefits, hence the benefit of the other party as well. Above all, No man is an island and there is no mammal who wants to live alone (proven fact). Human relationship is the foundation of all our commonalities in association with others. return to topic-home page
